What happens when our thoughts float freely, without any immediate focus to anchor them? ...
Firstly, you are slowly making sense of the world...
Secondly, when your mind wanders, it starts to make new connections between things - which often produces a solution to your problems...
Thirdly, your mind..., [f]reed from the pressures of thinking narrowly about what's in front of you, ...will start to think about what might come next - and so it will help you prepare for it.
- JOHANN HARI, Stolen Focus, 2022 (pp. 90-92)
In counselling there is a known process that client's go through before booking their first appointment. We know it as pre-contemplation, contemplation etc... (Prochaska et al. 1992). As far as the birth of this blog goes, my mind seems to have followed the same path. I have contemplated writing a blog for a long time and put off starting one, over and over and over. I have found many excuses not to write it, first it was completing my Masters, then it was that work is busy, and then it was Covid and then it was other professional development courses or study, the list goes on...
Realistically, the main distractor for me was social media. Up until recently, it has been the outlet that I needed to put my thoughts on paper and out of my head. When I started this counselling practice, after many years in the public service, I reluctantly created a social media business profile as a marketing channel. Over time my confidence with it grew and I enjoyed the connection and collaboration with other practitioners locally and worldwide. As my practice grew it became a place to reflect on themes I was observing in sessions or somewhere I could test my "working theories". As my practice grew more I had less time to engage or write but still kept the profile to maintain connection and learning.
Sadly, in recent times, social media has lost it's original lustre. I am not a tik tok'r , and I do not have any aspirations to be an influencer, but I do like having somewhere to put my thoughts and make sense of them for myself and others. Algorithms and other business expectations detracted from my ability to engage and share ideas with people. I have found I can no longer see much of the content I once enjoyed and I am instead bombarded with advertising and junk. Engagement has also taken a sour turn and the impact of global events have started to change the tone of how people engage; more and more wounded people take aim at thoughtful and well intended content. If they don't agree with you, they let you know, and not politely or with any desire to share a robust exchange of ideas.
As an ADHDr, with a strong sense of fairness, equity, social justice and empathy, my tolerance to field this discontent outside of my therapeutic space has depleted and I get overwhelmed. I have had periods off social media which provides much needed relief. Yet, I would always get drawn back in; craving the connection that it offers us in busy times.
When off social media I am better able to concentrate on reading and engaging, in person, with the world around me. I also have time to let my mind wander. Being ADHD, I am used to a busy mind, with thoughts overlapping but recently, when on social media, I have found that this speeds up and it clutters my head. This is why I love the concept of mind wandering and I try to make space for it in my life. As suggested in the quote above, I have reaped the benefits of problem solving and making connections between concepts. In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, allowing our minds to wander and to follow trailheads, or the sign posts, of our thoughts is what often leads us to the healing we are hoping for from counselling. It is a great thing!
As far as this blog goes, I'd like it to be a new space for me to collect my thoughts, share them and make sense of my world. It will likely reflect my latest work hyper-focus and so the topics may vary greatly (I am not a niche kind of person). I know my take on things may not always align with how others conceptualise the world and that is OK. I will do my best to support my pondering with research and sources of inspiration BUT I also know that my ADHD mind moves on quickly and tedious jobs like referencing can fall by the wayside. Please indulge me that shortcoming on occasion...
Anyway, here goes nothing! I hope you enjoy my mind wandering.
Stefanie
References:
Hari, J. (2022) Stolen Focus. pp. 90-92
Prochaska, J. O., DiClemente, C. C., & Norcross, J. C. (1992). In search of how people change: applications to addictive behaviors. American Psychologist, 47, pp.1102–1114.