Attention Abundance and Awesomeness

"If I had been born with the understanding of ADHD I have now, my life would have been very different. So much pain would have been avoided."

-Alex Partridge

Hands holding a busy mind

I am late diagnosed Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

I know you may be rolling your eyes reading this first sentence and may also be saying to yourself "Here we go, isn't everyone these days?!"

This response, if you have had it, is valid and makes a lot of sense. It does seem that a lot of people are getting diagnosed at the moment, and they are, there is very good reason for that. It is not just the latest fad. It is a result of research catching up and filling a lot of gaps in our awareness of ADHD. We now know that ADHD is genetic and inherited, meaning that it can be observed in numerous family members but may not be inherited by all. We also know that it is observed in both biological sexes (AFAB and AMAB) and across races, not just "naughty white boys".

Beyond the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), (last published in 2013) current research has provided insight into how ADHD shows up in people and how it impacts them. The growth of social media connected ADHDrs in online communities and they shared their lived experiences. They started to recognise common challenges, establishing a wealth of anecdotal qualitative information that enhanced assessment processes.

In Australia, we anecdotally know that the Covid restrictions amplified struggles for undiagnosed ADHDrs, resulting in burnout (often misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression). Mental distress increased and the recommended coping strategies were not working. The time online during the lockdowns had people searching for their symptoms and recognising that known ADHDrs reported the same. Suddenly, there was an uptick in people seeking assessment and getting diagnosed.

This is about the time that I recognised that some of my struggles were not solely a result of traumas I had experienced across my life. The IFS therapy that I was undertaking was making a big difference to my wellbeing but I was still consistently burning out and my mind was still constantly racing. One of my uni lecturers, shared her observation that I "think quickly" and a good friend shared that I gave the impression that I "had my shit together". I believed it was obvious that I was a "hot mess". This made me realise I was really good at masking.

As I worked more and more with ADHD clients, I found that I could really relate to their voiced experiences. I also knew that my kids were struggling, despite good resiliency factors in their lives, so I got organised, booked assessments and got confirmed as ADHD (I do not align with the term diagnosis because I do not think I have a condition or disorder, ADHD is who I am).

Many late diagnosed share that all of a sudden their whole life made more sense. This was my experience too. I started unmasking, I grieved and most importantly, I stopped apologising for who I am. My work allows me freedom to hyper-focus on mental health topics so I did a deep dive in to ADHD. I connected mostly with lived experience reports and deviated from the medical model take on ADHD because it didn't feel congruent with my experience and awareness of myself. There are many things I think the medical world, and the world at large, misunderstands about ADHD and I believe that, sadly, people are encouraged to fear their diagnosis or medication.

Here is what I would love people to understand about ADHD (based on my personal and professional experience):

1. Our mental distress or difficulty with executive functioning is not because of our ADHD but the result of living in a world that expects us to not be ourselves. When neuroaffirming practices help an ADHD individual accept and love who they are, their “problematic” symptoms often lessen.

2. It is the world that is problematic not the ADHD.

3. It is not an intellectual disability. Most ADHRs I have encountered are bloody smart.

4. It is not a result of bad parenting or behavioural problems.

5. It is not a mental illness although many experience co-occurring anxiety and depression.

6. It is different neurology and brain structure. In simple terms it’s different hardware (eg. Mac or PC).

7. It is not an attention deficit, it is abundance. My mind is constantly busy with competing and overlapping thoughts. Most can focus on more than one stimuli simultaneously making it hard to focus on one specific thing.

8. We are not over medicating our kids with illicit drugs. Stimulant medication is medication; it is not legal meth or coke. It’s like insulin for a diabetic.

9. We are not over diagnosing. Research has progressed.

10. We are not all a little ADHD. When an ADHDr is overwhelmed executive functioning expectations can impact their mental and physical health.

11. ADHD is a whole body experience. It is not just about our brains.

12. We can take months to recover from burnout.

13. We are not very good at feeding ourselves. We can focus on multiple things at once and forget to eat. We need reminders or food literally placed in front of us. This is often mistaken for disordered eating and, sadly, women are told they cannot have stimulant meds because they suppress appetite (face palm). The meds aid interoception so we are more likely to notice the effects of not eating, like low blood sugar, and eat. We also catch up once the meds wear off.

14. We are not simply interest driven. Our minds can move really quickly, we make connections, notice patterns and figure things out easily. We can get bored once we have mastered a challenge and move on while others are catching up.

15. We do not fluff around with language. We are direct when we speak and while we can meander (especially if we think out loud which many of us do) when we have a point to make, we will say it concisely. This directness is often considered rude or insensitive and we are criticised for offending people. Many feel misunderstood when they are trying not lose their train of thought or share their insightful point.

16. When faced with a problem, or overwhelmed, we consider many possible solutions before we voice the concern or ask for help. So telling us to “set a reminder” or “write a list” etc can be really bloody annoying. Again, we aren’t stupid. We know what should work. It just does not work for us.

17. We are not lazy, unmotivated or need to try harder. We are already trying and working hard to meet what’s expected of us.

18. What is expected of us (ie. executive functioning) is not always meant for us or how we operate. It can stifle our ingenuity.

19. When we are distressed we can present with symptoms similar to trauma. Many ADHDrs have experienced trauma but it is not what caused the ADHD. Healing trauma does not get rid of ADHD.

20. It is not a superpower but we are bloody awesome. It’s difference.

Partridge, A (2024) Now it all makes sense: How an ADHD diagnosis brought clarity to my life. John Murray Press.